Moving On . . . .

I apologize for not writing anything so far this year. I had considered doing an item regarding New Year’s Resolutions, but that is so old hat, and besides, part of me has always rebelled at making them. Never mind the fact that most resolutions are very short-lived. I have always felt that changing my life for the better need not rely on the calendar for an action plan.

I have also held back due to my personal situation, because I have not wanted it to spill over onto my blog, but life has a way of being messy. My friends already know I was diagnosed with a second incidence of breast cancer last November, and since then I’ve been through surgery and am in the midst of treatment, so I haven’t felt compelled to write much more than I have in the journal I keep. Thank God, and the fact that I religiously get annual mammograms and check-ups, because I have an excellent prognosis coming out of this. All the same, it’s scary when your body betrays you—and that’s exactly how it feels. Most of us don't think about the possibility of dying on a daily basis--I sure don't! Life takes on so much more significance, however, when you realize that any given moment could be your last. The smallest things take on new meaning, and you develop a gratitude for life that you never had before. You stop putting off what is truly important to you. You do things NOW, because next year might not roll around for another chance or a do-over. You stop worrying about what other people think, and you tell them that you love them--that they are important to you, and they have made a difference in your life.

Instead, I wanted to write about all the hopes and plans I have for my future. My husband Sam and I have been in our house a year and a half now—long enough to have some goals and still be realistic about what we can accomplish here. The economy hasn’t directly affected us, in the way it has so many—we have good jobs and aren’t in danger of losing them—but we’ve scaled back on what we considered doing a year ago. Then too, there will be no more credit card purchases. No, we won’t have to buy materials for the raised beds one board at a time, but you get the picture. The lean-to greenhouse is on hold until there is money in savings to pay for it, and we probably won’t put a fountain in the front yard now. We are thinking of coverting part of the house into a mother-in-law apartment down the line, too. If we have to stay here when we retire, we will want extra income, or perhaps live-in help, so that makes sense. Hopefully we will be able to sell this house in ten more years and get a decent return, so we can move to Eastern Oregon as planned, but right now all bets are off.

Sam and I hope to do some travelling this year, though my health situation has complicated that, simply because I won't be going anywhere until my treatment is over. Last year we had to cancel every trip we planned but one, due to the exorbitant cost of gasoline. I STILL want to make those trips: one, a road trip through Southern Oregon in the Miata, because I've never been there; and trips to Yellowstone, and the Southwest (Grand Canyon and Monument Valley). One day I hope to make trips to Teotihuacan in Mexico, and if I'm still up for it, to Machu Pichu in Peru. There are many other places I'd love to see one day, but these are the most immediate for me. The Great Pyramid of Giza and the Parthenon in Athens are at the top of that list. There are lots of places I don't need to go also: Las Vegas and Reno, for example. I would very much like to visit Washington D.C. but I've already been to New York City and seen the Statue of Liberty, albeit as a kid. It all depends on money, of course, and having the time to do it all.

This year my goal is to be fit enough and ready to go horse-packing in Eagle Cap Wilderness in September with Sam again. I've requested enough time off this year to make a decent excursion of it (and finally make it to Mirror Lake) and go early enough so I won't be freezing my tushie off at night. My niece Chelsea's husband Chris has generously put his little gray mountain horse, Gray Gelding, at my disposal for the trip, and I am so excited I can hardly sit still. Horse-packing is something I've wanted to do all my life--and not because I'm unable to get up there any other way. If you know me, you are aware of how much I love horses and value their company. No, I want to take a horse up there so I can have a horse to share it with! Gray Gelding is going to have to have a name though. I guess that duty will fall to me, and I am honored that Chris would even consider letting me use his own horse. That is trust in the purest sense, because Chris rescued Gray Gelding from an abusive owner a few years back. GG reminds me of my little Arab mare Hadarah in many ways, but I know this will be a new experience for both of us--one I shall treasure for certain. I think he will too.